Kent's Dancing Story

A story about music, dancing, girls, and a bar stool.

Paul's Farm Story

I was working on a summer harvest crew with a couple of my high school buddies. Since we traveled to different fields, we had an outhouse on a small trailer our boss had made out spare parts. Everyday we would hitch the trailer to the crew pickup and drive out to the field. One day, as we were driving down the road we hit a pothole. It wasn’t that big of a hole and it hardly jostled us in big chevy’s lifted cab. However it was more then the outhouse could take. I looked back to see it rolling in the opposite directing, a streamer of toilet paper flying out the back. 

We all stood there for a minute, trying to work the courage to drag the thing out of the ditch. Stalling for time, I took out my phone, took a picture of the crew staring around the upturned outhouse, and sent it to Facebook with the caption “Working hard at the Smith Seed Farm”. I thought it very clever. But, I had forgotten something. At some point in summer’s past, I had added my boss on Facebook. He never posted anything, ever. So I had forgotten about his presence completely. About ten seconds later I got a Facebook notification that someone had commented on my picture. It was a one word comment from Denver Smith. “Nice.”

Stealing Golf Balls with Oliver

So when I was in high school me and my friend used to steal golf balls. We would go out to the golf course at night and swim out into the pond, dive down, and grab as many golf balls as we could carry.  Sometimes would trade them to college students for beer, but mostly it was just something to do. Usually we only did it in the summer, but my friend Oliver had just got a wet suit for Christmas and he wants to try it out. So me, Oliver, and another guy, Evan, go out to steal some golf balls.

So we go down to the course, park down the road, walk to the course, climb over the fence, and head for the water hazard. We almost get there, when we see a flashlight in the distance. Apparently the course has a security guard now. We kind of panic and start running back towards the woods. When we get in the trees we realize that Even isn’t there. We look back and see him on the ground. He tripped. I wave for him to hurry up, but when he gets up he slips and falls again. The ground is muddy. I’m trying not to laugh out loud.

“What an idiot” I whisper to Oliver. 

Oliver looks back at me all serous and says “Never leave a man behind David.” Then he smears mud on his face. For camouflage I guess, and goes commando crawling out to where Evan is. Then he throws him over his shoulder and starts carrying him back towards the trees.

Now Evan’s not really hurt, he just fell in the mud, so he’s laughing his ass off as Oliver carries him to “safety”. Apparently the security guard wasn’t paying attention because he never even came over our way.

Ken's Hunting Story

So I did a lot of bow hunting when I was younger.  This one time I was out and Ih ad seen anything. It was getting late so I decided to call it a day. Just then a buck in the distance, heading his way. So, I wait for it to get closer. But the he stops and starts looking around, acting nervous. Now I was upwind, and I didn’t think it had seen me in my blind. So, I was wondering, what was spooking this buck. Then, I see something else moving in the brush. 

At first I thought it was just another deer, but it was too low to the ground. It was moving really slow, but eventually it gets comes out of cover enough I can see it. It’s a cougar. Big fella, crouched down sneaking real slow like. Now, I figure he was just after the buck. But still, I keep a close eye on him. He stands still for a real long time. Then he starts stalking foreword again. The deer gets wind of him and takes off like a shot. The funny thing is though he doesn’t go after it. He just stays were he is for a while. Then, he starts moving foreword again. Towards me. That’s when I realize, he’s not after the deer. He’s after me. 

Now Cougars don’t usually go after people, so I figured it was just because he hadn’t got a good look at me. So went ahead and stood up and started waving my arms and yelling. He stops and stands still for a second but he doesn’t leave. That’s when I started to get worried. It was getting dark fast, and he was in between me and my truck. Now I didn’t have a gun on me, just a bow. I do a little more waving and yelling but he doesn’t back off. Just sits there watching me. 

Now, there’s a big fine for killing a cougar, but I was loosing visibility and I didn’t want to get eaten. So, I sat back down and drew back. He was in the shadows, but there was a white patch his chest. So I made that my target, drew, and released. I saw the arrow hit the patch and I head the brush crashing as he took off running, but I lost sight of him. I notched another arrow and waited for a minute, but I couldn’t see him. I decided I had better just go. As I passed the bush he was hiding in, I saw blood trail leading away South. I probably could have followed till he bled out, but I wasn’t about to track a wound cougar in the dark. I high tailed it to my truck and got out of there.